The Adjustment Period

Before I had my daughter, I always heard people talk about the "adjustment period" new moms go through but never actually witnessed anyone who seemed to go through this dreaded adjustment period.  All my friends who had kids prior to me seemed to tackle motherhood with such vigor and excitement.  I on the other hand was left emotionally exhausted....who am I now? For the first few months, my life revolved around the baby and her sleep schedule. I constantly felt like I was going to make a bad choice for her that was going to ruin her forever (God forbid I put the t.v. on during the day in case she watched it).  It was very stressful.  What I went through was definitely what the public coins as "the baby blues."  I would cry for no reason and I felt really helpless.  I felt like I was never going to be back at my prior weight and I was never going to have fun again. I felt trapped and wanted to run home to New York to be with the people who I felt knew me and loved me the most, but obviously that wasn't an option.  Luckily I had a consistent flow of visitors for the first five months, but once the visitors stopped is when the feelings of despair hit me the most. This "adjustment period" continued to go on until I was finally forced to reevaluate who I was and what I was doing with my life.  Even though I was now a mother I was still myself and I deserved to have friends in my life who love me, and hobbies in my life that made me feel fufilled.  I started being less hard on myself about the baby weight and just did my best to exercise and eat right.  I can honestly say that after 18 months I have finally adjusted to being a mom and embraced where I am in life. For the first time in 28 years I am fully committed to being myself and making decisions that I feel are best for myself and my family. It is great to be free. :)