Children learn what they live Dorothy Law Nolte

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.


If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.


Excerpted from the book CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

©1998 by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris

The poem “Children Learn What They Live”

©Dorothy Law Nolte

Used by permission of Workman Publishing co., New York

All Rights Reserved

The last 15 pounds

Loosing the baby weight was easy, until I got down to the last 15 pounds.  I've always heard people talk about the freshmen 15 that most people gain when they go away to college, but I had never heard anyone talk about the pregancy 15 that happens after childbirth. When I realized these 15 pounds were not going to melt away like the other 15, I felt somewhat defeated.  I thought I was just going to have to accept the extra weight, but being 15 pounds heavier for me was a big deal and not something I wanted to succomb to.  Some of my friends seemed to loose the weight instantly, but for me it took time and work. So to work I went. I ate as healthy as possible and as often as possible to avoid binging.  I exercised two times a week using the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred DVD and made sure I did something active on the weekends.  I also walked often.  Before the days became excrutiatingly hot, Ella and I took daily morning walks.  I cut out most dairy and I cut back on drinks that contained excess sugar. I didn't expect to be the same size I was or even have the same body I had, I just wanted to stand  in front of the mirror in a bathingsuit and feel good about myself again.  Around the time that Ella was about 15 months I put on one of my old bikinis and was actually happy with what I saw. I felt so accomplished.... It was a great moment for me!  To those who think they will never loose those 15 pounds,  I was there and I totally hear you. One thing I kept reminding myself while going through this process was "I may never look the same as I did pre-pregnancy but it doesn't matter because I am doing the best I can." Be patient with yourself, because being the best you is the only thing you can do.  Holding grudges are never healthy.  Espeically when they are against yourself. 

Going back to work.....or not

Around the time that Ella was almost a year I planned on going back to work part time.  In New York I had a really great job teaching infants and toddlers with special needs and thought it would be a great idea to pursue the same type of position in Florida.  The hours were flexible and the pay was really good.   What better way to make supplemental income for the household and still be a stay at home mom the majority of the time? The Process started out slow. I had to take online coursework in order to become a Specialist through the Board of Health in Florida. It took about 2 months to complete the coursework and to receieve my certifcate.  The process continued to be slow........I needed to become enrolled as a medicaid provider and this has still not taken effect! At first I was stressed, but now I just have to laugh each time I receive correspondence from Tallahassee.  The most recent correspondence from them was my fingerprint card being returned back to me because they couldn't read my prints.  Really? Don't you think you should have looked into that 6 months ago when I mailed it to you?
I keep wondering if I should give up and look into something else, but each time I am ready to give up something happens where we don't need the money right now.  It is like clockwork.... our needs keep being provided for.  It's as if  God wants us to know that He will provide all our needs and it isn't really dependent on what we do or how hard we try.  I still feel that I am supposed to pursue this seemingly ridiculous venture....... even if it means I don't use my certificate until I am ready to go back to work a year after our next child.  :)

Phillipians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

The Adjustment Period

Before I had my daughter, I always heard people talk about the "adjustment period" new moms go through but never actually witnessed anyone who seemed to go through this dreaded adjustment period.  All my friends who had kids prior to me seemed to tackle motherhood with such vigor and excitement.  I on the other hand was left emotionally exhausted....who am I now? For the first few months, my life revolved around the baby and her sleep schedule. I constantly felt like I was going to make a bad choice for her that was going to ruin her forever (God forbid I put the t.v. on during the day in case she watched it).  It was very stressful.  What I went through was definitely what the public coins as "the baby blues."  I would cry for no reason and I felt really helpless.  I felt like I was never going to be back at my prior weight and I was never going to have fun again. I felt trapped and wanted to run home to New York to be with the people who I felt knew me and loved me the most, but obviously that wasn't an option.  Luckily I had a consistent flow of visitors for the first five months, but once the visitors stopped is when the feelings of despair hit me the most. This "adjustment period" continued to go on until I was finally forced to reevaluate who I was and what I was doing with my life.  Even though I was now a mother I was still myself and I deserved to have friends in my life who love me, and hobbies in my life that made me feel fufilled.  I started being less hard on myself about the baby weight and just did my best to exercise and eat right.  I can honestly say that after 18 months I have finally adjusted to being a mom and embraced where I am in life. For the first time in 28 years I am fully committed to being myself and making decisions that I feel are best for myself and my family. It is great to be free. :)